I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
