just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
