i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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