Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
