i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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