I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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