So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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