How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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