The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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