Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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