Say something about gay babies.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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