Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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