Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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