It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
