Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
