I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
