There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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