From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
