gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize