Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
