Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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