The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
