when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i out mim tonsoeep
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
