You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
