I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
