Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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