32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
