would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
