I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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