She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
