My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
