So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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