i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
