my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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