I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
