Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it was like eating out sand paper
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
