i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
