go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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