my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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