So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
