Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
