There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
