We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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