Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
