Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
