I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
