i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
