i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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