There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
ok first of all what the fuck
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
