so explain again why im purple
no
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
