I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
